by:  Velinda Peyton

For anyone who thinks there’s no hope and you’re stuck in a life you don’t want…

I’m not 30 anymore.  I wish I was…but only if I could take with me what I’ve learned from life.  I wouldn’t want to live over all the mistakes, indecision, confusion and heartache of growing up.  Growing older is not fun and not for sissies; but with it comes the glorious gift of wisdom.

There are things in life we learn, things we believe, things we experience, and then there are things we know for sure.  So, this is what I’ve learned from life, and what I know for sure.


Yesterday will leave an imprint on your life.  That imprint can be good or bad.  Your childhood will stay with you in some way for the rest of your life.  That childhood may have been good or bad, but it will stay with you and affect how you think, what you do, how you feel and how you live.  What you experience in life, good or bad will stay with you.  Some people experience more adversity than others and thus their journey is arduous.  The disappointments, heartache, shattered dreams, loss and lack will stay with you forever.  Your environment and the people in your life will have a profound effect on everything you are.  This also can be good or bad but will stay with you forever.  But it all doesn’t matter.

If perhaps you were raised by parents who didn’t love you, you lived in poverty, grew up exposed to adversity, experienced trauma or deep heartache, or even were homeless…it doesn’t matter today.  It doesn’t matter the bad things you felt you did, the negative feelings you have about yourself or where they came from.  You may not have an education, money, good looks, friends, resources, but none of it matters for tomorrow.  All these indelible life experiences have shaped you, but they are not who you are or who you can become. 

There is no excuse you can come up with that will keep you from having the life you want.  You have nothing more profound to master in life than yourself and your attitude, beliefs and thoughts.  Your mind today may be telling you that you cannot have…whatever, but you can control those thoughts and change them.  You are the master of your mind and the master of your life.  If you think differently, it is only because you don’t have the will to be, do and have what you really want.  Nothing is really broken, nothing is impossible, and nothing is outside of you.  If you believe differently, it’s only because you have wimped out of life and found a safe house in excuses and apathy. 

So, if the relationship you thought would last a lifetime didn’t, it’s only because there is a better one waiting.  If the dream you had shattered, it’s time to dream a new dream.  If your past lead you in the wrong direction, it’s time to turn around and start over.  And, if deep heartache and loss has left you feeling empty and hopeless, it’s time to fill up by doing something good with the impression these experiences left on you.  Many times, the greatest satisfaction that can come from deep heartache and loss is to use that pain to help others.

No, you’re not broken; it’s not over; life, love or whatever hasn’t passed you by; you’re not too old, too fat, stupid, ugly, or any other excuse you can come up with.  If you’re still breathing, what you want is within your reach and all you have to do is go after it…no matter how long it takes or what obstacles you incur along the way.

I don’t care what excuses you may have about yourself, your past, your current circumstances, your lack of resources, or even your mental attitude.  It’s all BS.  You don’t have to live with any of the circumstances of yesterday if those circumstances are not growing you in the right direction to fulfill your desires of how you want to live your life.  Anyone can do this.  You may need help and support, and it may take time, but you can do it if you want to.

It’s your life.  And if you’re not happy, change it.

So, pick yourself up, love yourself, know you are worthy of a great life, believe in yourself, do whatever it takes and take it one step, one day at a time towards the life you desire.  And before you know it, it will all come together.

So, what are you going to do with the rest of your life…now?

What other rational choice is there?